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Explore Doctor, I've Cracked My Ass - SOUTH PARK with 169,848 views, 2,948 likes, and 245 comments. Experience the impact of this video content that has captured audience attention.

It's the day of the festival, and both Terrance and Phillip arrive without realizing the other will be there. They fight. "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow" S05 Subscribe to South Park: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7R27sAWc_DqOldtI1JcYhQ?sub_confirmation=1 Watch more South Park: https://www.youtube.com/southpark About South Park: South Park is the Emparmy and Peabody-award winning animated series co-created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone about four boys living in one screwed-up Colorado mountain town. Between local and global tragedies, as well as parental and celebrity interference, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny manage to have themselves a time. Watch full episodes of South Park: https://cart.mn/episodes Shop official South Park merch: https://cart.mn/shop Follow South Park: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/southpark Twitter: https://twitter.com/southpark Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/southpark #SouthPark #SouthParkS05 EXT. SOUTH PARK - TOWN SQUARE - DAY Earth Day is all set in South Park. Kids are still busily sweeping and cleaning, putting up banners and getting ready. The Earth Day people walk through the event. The President barks commands through a megaphone. EARTH DAY PRESIDENT WORK FASTER! FASTER, CHILDREN! Earth Day is coming! The Earth Day President walks up onto the stage where the four boys are standing. EARTH DAY PRESIDENT (CONT'D) Well, boys, it's rehearsal time and your Terrance and Phillip haven't shown up. KYLE They said they'd come! STAN I'm sure they'll be here any minute! EARTH DAY PRESIDENT Maybe you kids don't understand how important Earth Day is for the future of our planet. Maybe you need some convincing. Karl? The other Earth Day guy grabs Kenny's arm and slams it down onto a table. In an instant he pulls out an Earth Day cleaver and chops off the lower half of Kenny's arm. KENNY AAGAHGHGH!!!! STAN OH MY GOD! PHILLIP Excuse me, is this where the Earth Day crap is happening? KYLE HE'S HERE!! EARTH DAY PERSON 2 Oh. Very good. Mr. Phillip, I'm Jack Farlis the Head of Earth Day committee. Thank you for being a part of this important event. PHILLIP Whatever, where's my check? The Earth Day President hands over the check. Terrance walks onto the stage from the other side. TERRANCE Alright, I'm here, where do I-- Terrance stops when he sees Phillip. PHILLIP What's HE doing here? EARTH DAY PRESIDENT Alright, let's do a rehearsal so that the camera crew can get a look at it! The Earth Day people walk off stage. Terrance and Phillip just continue to look away from each other from opposite sides of the stage. There is an uncomfortable moment of silence as Kenny continues to bleed out his stump. Kyle tries to take over. KYLE Uh... Wow! Isn't this great?! You guys seeing each other again?! STAN Yeah, you must have a lot of catching up to do, but let's rehearse first! PHILLIP So, this is all YOUR doing, huh, Terrance?! TERRANCE MY DOING?! These kids CALLED me and said this was YOUR idea and you wanted to apologize! KYLE Please, you guys, this is for Earth Day. (waving his hand) You caaaare about Mother Earth don't you? PHILLIP Well what the hell, I already flew out. But I want my check made out to ME not both of us! TERRANCE DITTO! STAN Fine! The boys and Earth Day heads happily get off the stage and go down into the audience. KYLE See?! I TOLD you it would work! EARTH DAY PERSON 2 Alright, and we'll come off the speech about dying whales and then... ACTION! Terrance and Phillip stand on the stage with their backs to each other and their arms folded. They deliver their lines with absolutely no conviction. TERRANCE Doctor, Doctor, I cracked my ass. PHILLIP Really? Let me take a look. TERRANCE Look closer. Terrance farts and neither one of them laugh. Kyle tries to get the crowd going by clapping half heartedly. KYLE Ha ha... Ha... PHILLIP Yon fart doth smell of elderberries sweet. Doth thou protest? TERRANCE Er--wha? That's not the line, asshole. PHILLIP You're right, it's a better one, asshole. TERRANCE Just do the bit RIGHT, DICK FACE! PHILLIP WHY DON'T YOU GO EAT SOME MORE PUDDING YOU FAT ASS DRUG ADDICT?! TERRANCE I MAY BE FAT BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET HAIRPLUGS! PHILLIP THAT'S IT! I AIN'T DOING NOTHING WITH KUKO THE WHALE! TERRANCE I NEVER NEEDED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE YA HACK!! Terrance and Phillip walk off the stage, pissed. Everyone in the crowd looks worried. KYLE You can't leave! The show starts soon!! EARTH DAY PRESIDENT Boys, you've got... (Looking at his watch) Three hours to get those two back together. Do I need to remind you what will happen if you don't? KARL! Karl grabs Kenny's other arm, throws it down on a table and cuts it off. KENNY AAAGHGHGH!!! KYLE You bastards! EARTH DAY PERSON 2 Good luck, boys. The Earth Day people walk away. CARTMAN (Holding Kenny) We've got to get them back together, you guys! They might do this to US!

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