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Here are some facts about... farts. Only 1% of your fart actually smells. 99% of farts are odorless gasses like CO2, hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, and methane. That leaves 1% of the stinky stuff, hydrogen sulfide. Yeah, hydrogen sulfide is -- pretty rank. Most people fart about 20 times a day. If someone tells you they don't fart, they're lying. Question everything they say. Farts are fast. They zoom out at about 3 meters per second, or 7 miles per hour. Farts are warm. You know how you can see your breath when it's cold? Yeah, same thing happens down there. Women's farts smell worse than men's. Although women and men produce the same amount of flatulence, studies show that women's farts consistently contain higher concentrations of hydrogen sulfide — the stinky stuff. The animal that farts so much it affects the atmosphere? Termites. Yep, about 2% of global methane emissions come from termites. Farts can explode. Who doesn't love a tiktok of someone lighting their farts on fire? Turns out, your farts really ARE flammable. Two chemicals in farts, methane and hydrogen, are highly flammable, which is what makes it possible to create a small explosion if you hold a lighter up to your cheeks. Don't do that though. It doesn't matter how many views you get. It's not worth it. Certain foods make your farts smell worse. Sulfur rich foods like eggs and meat, break down and create hydrogen sulfide, which is the stinky stuff. The oldest joke in history is actually a fart joke. It's an ancient Sumerian proverb from 1900 BC that says, "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap." Vegetarians fart more than meat eaters. That's because of the beans. You know, the musical fruit? Beans contain carbohydrates made of molecules that are too large to be absorbed in our small intestine during digestion. So they skip the line and pass into the large intestine still intact. This leads to an increase in bacteria, which produces large amounts of hydrogen, nitrogen and carbon dioxide gas. Next time a vegan brags to you about not eating meat. Just tell them, "I know. I can smell you." Your butt can tell the difference between a fart and poop. The nerve endings in your rectum know if it needs to release air or -- stool. The only exception is when you have the runs. Liquid poop confuses the nerve endings. So, be careful when you squeeze. Holding in farts isn't harmful. You're not going to explode or anything or get sick. But sooner or later, that air's coming out. Probably when you're asleep and your spouse - is awake. Farting isn't gross. It's something a healthy human body does. So, next time you feel that pressure, don't be shy. Turn to the person nearest and dearest to you and say: "Hey honey, pull my finger."
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