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There's a message on your phone right now. You've read it. You meant to answer it. And somehow the days keep going by. This video is about the people who hold on to messages: why a reply you care about gets harder the longer it waits, what psychologists say you're really avoiding, and two small things you can do tonight. If you're the one waiting on someone, there are a few words for you near the end too. How long has yours been sitting there? Write it in the comments. Chapters 0:00 The message on your phone 0:27 Why it isn't laziness 2:12 When the effort stops matching 3:26 What your silence looks like from the other side 5:19 Two small things 6:34 If you're the one waiting 6:59 Back to the message Research mentioned (time in the video, then the source) 1:21 Putting things off is mostly about avoiding the feeling a task brings up, not the task itself. Sirois, F. M., & Pychyl, T. A. (2013). Procrastination and the Priority of Short-Term Mood Regulation. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 7(2), 115-127. 6:02 People who were hardest on themselves for delaying were the most stressed, and the stress fed more delay. Going easy on yourself was the way out of the loop. Sirois, F. M. (2014). Procrastination and Stress: Exploring the Role of Self-compassion. Self and Identity, 13(2), 128-145. 6:40 The correspondence bias: when someone goes quiet, we read it as a fact about who they are, when it is usually a fact about their week. Ross, L. (1977). The Intuitive Psychologist and His Shortcomings: Distortions in the Attribution Process. In Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 10. Gilbert, D. T., & Malone, P. S. (1995). The Correspondence Bias. Psychological Bulletin, 117(1), 21-38. Music "Love in the Air" by Ahjay Stelino, Mixkit (mixkit.co) "We'll Be Okay" by Mixkit (mixkit.co) This video is for education and isn't a substitute for professional help. If a heavy feeling has lasted a long time, please talk to a doctor, a counselor, or a local support line. #psychology #procrastination

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