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Why You Feel Lonely Even When You're Together

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You can share a home, sleep in the same bed, raise children together and still feel incredibly lonely in your relationship. Emotional loneliness doesn’t necessarily mean the love has gone or that your relationship is over. Sometimes it means you have simply stopped emotionally reaching for each other. In this episode of the Empowered Marriage Podcast, I explore why emotional disconnection can gradually develop in a relationship, particularly through major life transitions such as having children, demanding work schedules, raising teenagers or simply moving through different stages of life together. You may still function well as a couple. You live together, parent together and manage everyday life, but somewhere along the way the emotional connection has started to disappear. I also share three practical places to start if you’re feeling lonely in your relationship. The first is to start turning towards each other again through the small, everyday bids for connection — a coffee, a kiss goodbye, a conversation about your day or simply inviting your partner to spend some time with you. The second is to notice whether you are taking your relationship outside of your relationship. Does everyone else know how you’re feeling except your partner? Talking to friends and family can be supportive, but if you’re sharing your inner world with everyone except the person you’re in the relationship with, it’s worth becoming curious about why. And thirdly, repair what is sitting between you. Loneliness often grows from unresolved hurt, resentment and repeated patterns. If those hurts continue to accumulate, reconnecting becomes increasingly difficult. Feeling lonely doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is finished. It may mean it’s time to start reaching for each other again. In This Episode 00:00 Welcome to the Empowered Marriage Podcast 01:45 Why do you feel lonely even when you’re together? 02:42 How emotional disconnection begins 03:02 Coming out of the bubble of love 04:19 How having children can change your relationship 06:04 Life transitions that create emotional distance 06:45 When you stop emotionally reaching for each other 07:37 Connection, disconnection and repair 08:20 Why couples can get stuck in disconnection 10:38 1. Start turning towards each other again 12:58 Small bids for connection 14:38 2. Stop taking your relationship outside the relationship 15:25 Does everyone know how you feel except your partner? 15:49 My own experience of not speaking up 17:35 Recognising your role in the loneliness 18:07 3. Repair what is sitting between you 18:24 Unresolved hurt and resentment 19:10 When it may be time to seek support 20:42 Three things to start doing differently 21:17 Feeling lonely doesn’t mean your relationship is over Are You Feeling Lonely in Your Marriage? If you feel more like flatmates than partners, have stopped emotionally reaching for each other or have years of hurt and resentment sitting between you, it may be time to understand what is happening underneath your relationship. My Relationship Reset Assessment is designed to help you identify the patterns keeping you stuck, understand where your relationship is now and determine what needs to change. Visit Power of Change Counselling & Coaching to learn more or book a Relationship Reset Assessment. Helen Harrison Relationship & Personal Growth Specialist Power of Change Counselling & Coaching Helping relationships thrive — one couple at a time. #marriage #marriagecounselling #marriagecounseling #couplescounselling #relationships #relationshipadvice #emotionalconnection #lonelyinmarriage #marriageproblems #relationshipgoals #empoweredmarriagepodcast

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