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Terrance is on Trial for Murder - SOUTH PARK

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Terrance and Phillip star in the film "Not Without My Anus." In the first scene, Terrance is on trial for murder. He and his lawyer, Phillip, fart a lot. "Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus" S02 Subscribe to South Park: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7R27sAWc_DqOldtI1JcYhQ?sub_confirmation=1 Watch more South Park: https://www.youtube.com/southpark Watch full episodes of South Park: https://cart.mn/episodes Shop official South Park merch: https://cart.mn/shop Follow South Park: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/southpark Twitter: https://twitter.com/southpark Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/southpark #SouthPark #SouthParkS02 INT. COURTROOM - DAY The Prosecuting Attorney, SCOTT, is standing before a jury. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT Ladies and gentleman, before you today sits a murderer. On the night in question, this monster entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer and struck him repeatedly in the head with this hammer. The Prosecutor holds up a hammer. It has blood and hair all over it. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT (CONT'D) That monster is sitting right over there and his name is Terrance! He points to the defense table where Terrance sits and shrugs nonchalantly and then lifts his ass cheek to fart. His defense attorney, Phillip, laughs. PHILLIP Oh, Terrance, you've farted in court. TERRANCE Yes, Phillip, I'm making a case for our defense! Terrance and Phillip laugh merrily. The Prosecutor continues, pacing in front of the jury. He has before him an endless table of physical evidence. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT All of these things link Terrance to the murder. Hair fibers, blood samples, nail clippings, a piece of his shirt... He holds up the fabric. Terrance casually covers the rip on his sleeve and smiles at the jury. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT A watch with his initials on it, a dayplanner with the murder scheduled... The prosecutor holds up the dayplanner page. It has a skull and crossbones and says, "Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer 7:30. Dinner with the McCullough's 8:15." PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT ...a haiku called Time To Kill Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer (counting the syllables on his hand as he reads) "Doctor O'Dwyer, Time to have your head smashed in, with my new hammer." Terrance shrugs. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT Terrence, you may be a famous surgeon but you're not God! Do you think you're God?! J’accuse, Terrance! With a big dramatic fingerpoint, we pan quickly over to Terrance. He smiles at the jury, then farts. TERRANCE Would you like a monkey claw, Phillip? PHILLIP Yes, please. Terrance lifts his ass cheek and farts a different sounding fart. TERRANCE That's called the monkey claw because it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys! PHILLIP The monkey claw is smelly! Terrance laughs. The OLD BLACK FEMALE JUDGE smacks her gavel and speaks in a slow, drowsy southern-Canadian drawl like a hillbilly bear. OLD BLACK FEMALE JUDGE Come on, get a move on. I ain't gettin' any younger up here. PHILLIP My sentiments exactly, your honor. I see from your accent that you’re Southern-Canadian. OLD BLACK FEMALE JUDGE That is correct. Phillip stands and addresses the jury. PHILLIP (CONT'D) Good people of the jury. My client, Terrance, is an innocent man. Phillip farts. TERRANCE Oh, Phillip, now you've farted during the closing argument. PHILLIP I have, haven't I, Terrance? He farts again. The jurors start to smile. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY SCOTT Your honor, the defense is trying to make a mockery of this court! They think that farts are funny!! But they’re not!! OLD BLACK FEMALE JUDGE Sustained. PHILLIP Good people of the jury. My client, Terrence, is no more a murderer than you or me. He loves puppies and hates mean things. He shows a picture of Terrance giving a carrot to a llama. PHILLIP (CONT'D) Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this? Of course not. So, in summation, find Terrance innocent... Or else he’ll KILL you!! The jury gasps. PHILLIP (cont’d) Ha, ha! Just kidding! Terrance and Phillip laugh merrily. PHILLIP (cont’d) The defense rests. Phillip crosses to his chair. He stops and farts on the Prosecutor again as he passes. SCOTT God dammit! That isn’t funny!! JUDGE Madame foreperson, have you reached a verdict so we can get hell out of here? FOREPERSON/WOMAN We have, your honor. We have found Terrance, in the above entitled action of murder against Dr. Jeffrey O'Dwyer... Just then, Terrance lets a huge fart rip and it drowns out the verdict. He and Phillip roar with laughter. Everyone looks around confused. JUDGE You're gonna have to repeat that verdict because we had some flatulence issues. FOREPERSON/WOMAN I said, we find Terrance... Terrance lets another one rip. We still can't hear the verdict. He and Phillip laugh their asses off and fart. The forewoman screams in between farts. FOREPERSON/WOMAN (CONT'D) We find Terrance........Not guilty! Terrance hugs Phillip. PHILLIP Did you hear that, Terrance. You're not guilty!

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